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I feel pretty great right now actually

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For my mother

It’s blurry, then fading.  Mostly because I hate thinking about it.  “It” like sitting across from you, and seeing you cry.  Or being on the phone, and listening to how you still have to tip toe around—your life, your family, my father.  I hate him too, probably.

But I loved you.  And I was just thinking the other day, about my ideal world.  What it will look like, and how I’ll make it.  In my ideal world, everyone knows every bad thing I’ve ever done, and can list out every one of my failures.

In my ideal world, I'm free of fear.  So I can love you again.

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My intention is to make one last update to this site. At least for the forseeable future. I need to land on some kind of streaming solution though- the longer videos I had posted were taking a while to load.

It's not a priority so I'm not setting a hard deadline on this, but I'd like to get it done by Wednesday or Thursday.

Here is a problem to solve in the meantime.